Mother's Day 2018

I used to be so good at writing a Mother's Day post every year. Last year I think I completely forgot. The reason this is so important to me is that I want to look back and remember this very special day. Being a mother is the biggest honor I could receive. At this point in my journey as a mother I have days where I feel like I can't catch my breath. The days and the years and rushing by. And I'm not quite ready for that. I remember the days of rocking and nursing and the sleepless nights and in some ways those were the very best days of my life. My children are growing up. And this makes me sad, and happy. Sad that they are needing me less and less as the days go by. Happy that they are becoming very fun, independent people. Eli is driving, and working. He'll be a junior in highschool this upcoming year. It breaks my heart. I still see that precious little boy that wanted so badly to make me pancakes for breakfast on Mother's Day and couldn't figure out how to do it, so defeated, he came to my room with a bowl of cereal and woke me up feeling a little disappointed in himself. I wrote about it a few years ago. That was the best bowl of cereal I  ever had. I just want to rewind the time sometimes. But I know I can't. Ava is going into the 8th grade, so this will make her last year of middle school. I miss my sweet girl with the wild blonde curls. But I love the beautiful person she s growing into!  My sweet Evelyn, she's in between big girl and baby. Well, I will always refer to her as my baby. As big as she is now, I still carry her sometimes. And I probably will until her legs drag the ground. Which won't be long. These years are precious and I pray my children have good memories. No, I'm not perfect and I can easily list all of my flaws, but I pray that their childhood has been full of good memories. I will always look at it with fondness. These have indeed been the best years of my life.

Mother's Day this year was quite. Church, then came home to a yummy brunch. We spent the day together and I couldn't ask for more than that. My love for these three is deeper than the ocean. I can't begin to describe it. To Eli, Ava, and Evelyn, I love you all with all of my heart.
Love,
Mama



We did mange a picture together.

Dear Ava

Dear Ava,

       Here we are, right in the middle of middle school. 7th grade is approaching faster than I could have ever imagined. But there are a few things I'd like to say to you before this big year of your life starts out. I know there will be times when you feel like just being you, isn't enough but please let me assure you, that being you is enough. Please hear me when I say this. Your value is not measured by how many friends you have or how popular you are. Your value isn't determined by what boy thinks you're cute. Your value doesn't rest in the clothes you have or the shoes you wear. These years are hard and I know you're trying to figure out just who you are. The thing is, I already know. And if you look deep enough, you'll know too. You're who you've always been. Who God created you to be. But somewhere in middle school that can get lost. You start noticing yourself and your "flaws". The  opinions of others becaome very important to you. Just remember that Gods opinion is what matters the most. And when you feel small, remember how big he is. And when you feel left out or lonely, remember that your family has your back and we're never ever leaving your side.  Remember, be kind. open your eyes and notice the kid setting alone at lunch. Smile at the "weird" kid. Step out of your comfort zone. Be a leader. In a world full of name brand clothing and high top converse, which I love btw, be something different. Stand up for what's right. But always be true to yourself and honest. Honest. Always be honest. I could scream this one from the rooftops. Be kind, but be honest. I am so proud of you my sweet precious girl. I love being your mom and am honored that I've had this job for almost 12 years. I love you all the way past the moon!

#truth

I'm just going to be real honest. It ain't pretty but it's the truth.  I have been a negative nelly all week. I will make no excuses for myself even though I have many times throughout the week to all the people I've spewed my negative nelly comments to. But, really there's not one. There's really never a reason for me to be this way. I tend to be a very passionate person. I feel and see things very strongly. I want everyone around me to be happy little campers but hey, that's not really my job. I just want to say, I woke up this morning exhausted from all my negative thoughts and  I decided I  would change my ways. I am just not going to do it today. So today I tried harder and I did better. I am not perfect, what can I say, and don't be shocked. I'm just not. I need Jesus as much as the next person. But today I was reminded that happiness is a choice and I have to make that choice everyday. Today, wasn't perfect but I made the choice to be happy. And tomorrow I will get to choose again. And all the days for the rest of my life I'll get to choose. I will snuggle my babies and I will be so thankful for these lives that I get to guide. Even though it may not always be the perfect scene that my wild  crazy imagination may conjure up. Who likes perfect anyway?

peaceful mornings

It's early Saturday morning and I'm snuggled under a warm blanket on my couch with a hot cup of coffee on the end table.  The only sound I hear is the fish tank and Charlie's toenails tapping across the floor as he walks. It's peaceful here. Early in the morning while everyone else sleeps. I know I should probably get up and pick up the living room a bit, but my body and this couch say no. So for now, I'll listen to them.  I've always been an early bird, and it used to make me mad that i couldn't sleep late like everyone else. But now, I love it and almost look forward to my early mornings by myself. With life being busy and loud I crave peaceful moments like this. Reflecting on the week, and life.  I have started reading through the gospels when I find myself with time like this. For a long time the Bible has been confusing to me. But starting in Matthew and reading slowing has made the biggest difference in understanding Jesus more. so, as I set here and enjoy the quiet while it lasts I will think of how much these loud crazy people make me happy. I will enjoy the sun peeking through the windows and the promise of a brand new day lying right in front of me. I will tell myself that today, I won't eat anything that is bad for me, and a little piece of me will know that I'm lying. I do have good intentions. But my love for food and happiness always outweighs my love for a flat stomach. I will cherish my family and love them today better than I did yesterday. It's a fresh start and the first day of the rest of my life!

Tell me something good.

In an attempt to focus on the good in life, because it's there if you look for it, I'm going to write a short post each day, (God willing) focusing on something good that has happened in my day. I'll start this one with Easter weekend 2017. It's been an overwhelming weekend really. Lots of ups and downs. We are putting in a pool! That's exciting. We are also doing it ourselves! Which is exciting and maybe a little insane. But hey! We like an adventure and a challenge, and this is a big one!
Ava tried out for cheer and didn't make the team. That was heartbreaking. I knew it would be hard if she didn't make it, but I guess I wasn't prepared for the fact that I could literally feel her pain. And it was something that I feel like changed me in a way. In a good way, I believe. She's strong and she'll be ok, I'm proud of her positive attitude and the fact that she wants to work harder and try again next year. That's my girl! I think God allows these painful failures to happen to us to build strong character in our lives. I believe through this He is doing some sort of work in her life.  With putting in a pool on Easter weekend, we were some kind of busy. I think Evelyn ended up going to 4 Easter egg hunts, so the amount of candy and sugar in my house should be outlawed and may cause my entire family to fall into a sugar coma for the rest of spring. We had a beautiful weekend with family and friends. More food than I could ever eat, lots of laughs and dirt in my face. Literally, thanks to my dad taking us on a back road adventure.  A beautiful church service celebrating our risen Savior, the most important thing about this holiday. And so, with all the ups and downs of this weekend, through the dark and sad moments, there are many bright and beautiful things hidden within. You just have to look for them. I see them. I am opening my eyes and letting them in!

-L
❤

Growing up

In less than 2 weeks I'll have a highschooler. I'm not sure how that happened so quickly but what gives me a mini panick attack is when I hear someone tell me these 4 years will fly by faster than any before. I feel like I'm preparing myself for that. The things that come with highschool, like driving, deciding where to go to college and what exactly he wants to be when he grows up. These are really big things. And it's overwhelming to know they are literally right around the corner. I know it's inevitable, he's going to grow up, drive a car, go off to college, get married and have his own family. And that's really what I want and it makes me so happy to think of all he has to look forward to in his future. It's just happening so fast. So fast. We're trying to fix up his room and put in a pool next year in hopes that this will be the house all of his friends want to come to. I want the best for Eli, I want him to appreciate life and enjoy these highschool years, make a difference , be a leader, stand up for what's right and love the people you're around everyday. I'm very aware of how quickly the days are rolling by, but in that awareness and a little bit of fear, I'm very thankful. God has been gracious to us, He has always provided and taken care of our family. And for that I'm so thankful. I pray for God to watch over Eli through these years and surround him with good influences, I trust that he will. 

Here's to the highschool years!

Home

As I'm vacuuming today's mounds of dog hair scattered throughout my house, I'm noticing how worn my wood floors are. And for a minute, I think to myself, how is everything so worn out. We've only lived here for 8 years! But as I go around the corners and move from room to room, the answer comes to me. We LIVE here. And we've Lived here for 8 years. Literally every room is touched with life. My children have run through every inch of this house. Their friends and our family have filled it many, many times. The floors are worn, the couches are we'll just say, well loved. The carpet has been put through the most torture, but every piece of this house shows life. It shows that my babies are growing up here, right now, and I don't want my house to show anything more. The creaky floor boards are my favorite. The rooms are filled with art from my children, my family, myself, and my mom and dad. Furniture my dad has built with his own hands. A musty old record player that reminds me of a sweet friend every time I turn it on. Books and pictures and little touches of everyone I love surround me. Sometimes I get caught up in wanting it all to look so Pinterest perfect, but none of that matters. It really doesn't. The day will come when my house will be clean for more than 5 minutes, but right now, I'll enjoy all the little imperfections that make it perfect. I know it's just a house, but to me it's our home. It's the place I hold so many memories. There will always be a project, and that's ok, because you know I love a project. But right now, I'm going to enjoy the squeaky  floor boards...... And my coffee