I love love

I've been feeling like writing a lot lately. I've got so many things going on in this head of mine.
I have changes I want to make, which I talked about in my last post and I have been feeling so thankful and so much love for my family lately. I know it seems kinda like I think things are perfect in my life, but I don't. I know they are not perfect but I love the life God gave me. Just having three of the most wonderful kids and feeling so completely overwhelmed with the love I have for them.

Tonight I'm feeling it, I'm feeling it so much. They drive me crazy sometimes. So crazy, so so crazy. Yes, I lose it sometimes, my patience runs thin but at the end of the day, when I'm lying here in my bed, I think about how amazing they are. And how much I love them.


Ava is seriously one of the coolest, most amazing people I know. And even if she wasn't my kid I would totally feel that way. She is a leader, I love that! She is her own person and always has been. She could care less what everyone else is doing, wearing, or into. If she likes it she likes it. If she doesn't, she doesn't. I love that about her so much. I love her confidence. If I compliment her, she says thank you. She doesn't feel like she has to say anything to downplay the compliment. Like I usually do. She feels so confident in who she is. I am beyond proud to call her mine. She loves Evelyn and is such a mama to her. Very protective and loves to hug and kiss her. She told me this morning she couldn't wait to have her own babies:) she's going to be an amazing mama one day.

Evelyn has been such a blessing to our family, her being here has changed everything but in such a good way. Our life is so completely different now. But oh my goodness I wouldn't change a thing. She is the best baby, she wakes up smiling and happy and loves seeing all of us in the morning. She has the sweetest smile with her one little tooth and her chubby cheeks and dimples. She's crawling and saying mama, dada and just this week started saying bubba. Eli is as happy as he can be over that. He's been waiting on this day. She makes me smile and makes everyday so much sweeter. I could not imagine our life without her.

Eli is all boy. I have had days where i feel like I just don't understand him. I never had a brother and was only around my boy cousins some growing up. He's a ball of energy and he's so smart. He's a thinker. He asks a lot of questions and sometimes I see him stare off in space and I know his mind is growing. He loves being active and is a bit competitive. Which can cause some fights with him and Ava. I know they love each other more than anything but oh my goodness, those two will argue about anything! I love this boy, he was my first baby. My only boy and sometimes when I look at him, I see that little boy that always wanted me to play with him. Those days went by fast. Too fast. I love that Eli likes to play outside, he's not much into video games and tv. He wants to be playing basketball, football or anything outdoors. He's an amazing kid.

I am thankful for all God has given me and I want to cherish these moments and hold onto these memories with them. The time is going fast, I'm just trying to hold on tight.