before and after and nine months

Life has been busy lately and I've gotten a little sidetracked on what I need to be doing. I have been working like crazy at getting my house in order. And in a way its made me feel crazy, a little all over the place, my brain is spinning and it won't stop. But I do see the light at the end of the tunnel and its a beautiful, simple, carefree, easy light. I've realized that I am completly worn out. I feel sluggish and tired and I go and go and go, my coffe cup is usually always within my reach. I don't take time for myself, ever. Anytime I have the chance to sit and rest, I find something else to do. Just yesterday I made myself lay down with Evelyn and rest, I couldn't sleep of course but it felt so good to just let me entire body relax, to let no busy thoughts enter my mind, and to just snuggle and cuddle my little tiny girl.I have to tell myself that sometimes you have to take care of you.

With all that life throws at me I sometimes feel like I'm one of those hampsters running on one of those wheels, he runs and runs but he never gets anywhere. I feel like that most days and I think thats why simplifing my home has been exactly what I need, what I have to do.


Here's a quick before and after of my pantry. I'll post more pictures later....

                                                                          before

                                                                         

                                                                          after

                                                                            after

I'm pretty ashamed of the first picture. But it is what it is and I have admitted I have a problem:)


As much as I don't want to admit it, I feel like when I'm with the kids sometimes in the back of my mind I'm thinking of all the hundreds of things thast I need to be doing. I'm tired of that, I'm tired of living that life. I want to enjoy every moment without those thoughts looming in my head. Who really cares if the launrdy is done right this second, and who really cares if their shoes are put away in the mudroom right when they walk in the door. I really don't. I've never been very ocd. Honestly I've never been a very tidy person. But I want to be . I feel like clutter has ruled my life far too long. I feel like once its gone, I can keep things cleaned and orderly without a big fuss. I already feel a huge burden has been lifted from me. I still have quite a bit more to do but I have done so much!


So, this weekend I have planned a little me time. Evelyn has her 9 month check up and then I have an appointment for a massage and lunch with my mom and sister after. Something I really really need and I am so looking foward to it!

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And speaking of Evelyn's 9 month appointment. She will be NINE months old saturday, in 2 days!

I am completly amazed at how fast the time is flying, its almost unreal. I hold her and stare at her and I tell myself don't forget this. Don't forget these chubby cheeks and chubby little fingers that hold on to my shirt collar so tight, don't forget the way she lays her head on me so shyly when someone else is talking to her or when I say "Thank You Evelyn" Don't forget her smell, her soft fuzzy head,and the way her eyes look when she smiles so big.

This month has brought so many changes for her. She has started crawling at top speed,no more army crawl. She means business now. she's pulling up to stand and walking along the couch, just last night she stood up on her own, for about 2 seconds, and I got a picture of it. She says, "mama", "dada" and "bubba". She has also stopped sleeping through the night. She wakes up every night now and I bring her in the bed with me, its ok, I don't mind. I love the snuggle time with her and waking up to her sweet face every morning.I know these days will soon be gone, so I'll take it while I can. She has 4 teeth now. All from this month. This eighth month has been huge for her! She's growing fast and I can't even imagine life without her.

These past nine months have been nothing short of wonderful, no not perfect. But so imperfectly amazing that I would do it over again in a heartbeat!








Like daddy, like daughter

standing alone

she loves frozen blueberries, this is her favorite treat.

this rocking chairs has been in our family for years, my mom and aunt used to rock each other in this chair when they were little and me and Anna loved rocking in it when we were little too....ahhhh memories!

 she loves bath time

And to think I actually thought these two wouldn'tt be close because of the age difference. Our fears are so silly sometimes,they couldn't be closer

 tiny fingers learning to grab