The present.

You know what's funny? I remember being around 16 or 17 years old and laying in my bed early one morning. It was a Saturday, I had the opportunity to sleep in. Which has always been hard for me. I laid there and thought, I really should enjoy this right now because one day ill have kids and won't be able to do this, ill wish I could so I should do it now while I can. Isn't that weird for a teenager to think?

 I kinda think so, but I've always looked to the future, sometimes too much. You know, sometimes I feel like I need to live more in the now, the present, I do stop and tell myself that every now and then. 

 Since having Evelyn I've focused on the now more than I ever have in my life. I see time just moving right along and I spend a lot of time just watching them and telling myself not to forget certain things they say or do, like Evelyn saying No all the time now, and opening the fridge and saying cheese in her own little baby way. How Eli has suddenly become closer to us this year, wanting to hang out with us. He's so goofy and always loud, but I want to remember it. How Ava is really growing up, her face is changing from a baby to a girl. she's a ball of energy, doing cartwheels from morning to night.  I used to look back in the past and feel a twinge of pain for the years that have past, I missed their baby teeth and baby voices, I missed holding them and rocking them, I missed all those things, and am so so thankful to get to do them all over again with Evelyn, I'm soaking it in with her. God really blessed us so much when he gave her to us. I want to look back on those days with fond memories, not to mourn them. To be happy they happened and I was there. They are growing up so fast, and I'm thankful, thankful they are here and healthy and thriving, full of energy and life! Ill always smile when I look back at those smiles with baby teeth and chubby cheeks and diaper bootys. Those days were long but the years are short.

 Right now I'm thankful for the nights I get to go to bed and know they are safe and sound in the rooms right next to mine all tucked in warm in their beds.

 So, I'm feeling a little sentimental tonight. It's a good thing. 

Today was good, I checked Eli out of school early for a dr appt and on the way home we stopped at Starbucks, we talked, laughed and were completely goofy. I loved it and will remember it always.  He's a good, good boy.

Lots of play time with Evelyn today. She's so fun right now, and funny! I live this age so much. She's started showing us she loves us, I know she always has but she can show it now, lots of hugs and kisses and sweetness, we still call her a sour patch kid though, she's got quite the little temper!

Ava was all over today, she loves to be on the go, playing with friends, she loves to play by herself too. Always creating some masterpiece. I just think she's amazing!