Every year I learn, everyday I learn. I've learned a whole lot about being a mother over the past twelve years, but I also know I have a lot more to learn. I am constantly presented with new challenges. Sometimes, they are really hard. Sometimes, I have to pray because I know I cannot do this on my own. Sometimes I worry I'm doing this all wrong, but God reminds me He's right here with me.
Over the past few weeks, I've been faced with some difficult challenges, some really hard things. When I try to handle them alone, I fail. Every single time. One thing I've realized about myself is that I let the words of others really bother me. I take them to heart and then beat myself up. That is wrong. So wrong. I got this text from my sister last week, right when I needed it....
"Listen to what you are saying about yourself. What thoughts are you playing in your mind?One of the greatest things you can do, is to be aware of your internal dialogue and make sure you are saying what GOD says about you!
That was a wake up call. God says I'm enough, he says wonderful things about me, He loves me uncondionally, and all I have to do is call on Him during difficult times, He doesn't promise me He'll make everything easy and perfect, But He does promise He will never leave me.
Mom Guilt is a bad thing, a bad, bad thing. And parenting through guilt will only leave you feeling like a failure. Which is NOT how God wants you to feel! I'm thankful for Grace, for Redemption, and for this perfect gift of motherhood. There will be ups and downs, but the good will always outweigh the bad and God will always guide me down the path I'm supposed to choose.
Having three kids with large age gaps is really great, I feel like I'm getting the best of both worlds, but also the challenges of both worlds. A busy toddler, an almost 9 year old girl and a 12 year old middle schooler. Lets just say, there's never a dull moment around here, we have lots of love, lots of dramatic movie scenes, lots of laughs, tears, 'go-to-your-rooms', 'eat your dinner', 'don't touch that', 'don't say that', 'You're so sweet', 'you're such a good kid', 'Don't talk to me that way', 'go-to-your-room', 'go-to-your-room', 'I love you', 'I love you', 'I love you'.....
And I wouldn't trade it for anything!
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Eli, you're amazing, you're so talented, you're growing up so fast. You are taller than me now, so yeah, thats a little weird, You have this musical ability and I hope you become proud of it one day and want to show the world, I am so proud of you and I love you more than life! I know God has big plans for you, I know He does.
Ava, you light up the room! You are joy, I love being around you, you're just plain cool! You are a friend to all, you are thoughtful and kind and unique. And I'm so proud of how hard you work towards your gymnatics goals! I cannot wait to see where God leads you in this life!
Evelyn, you are my baby and you always will be, I've even let you move into my bedroom and share the bed with me and daddy just because I love to watch you sleep, you're a little angel. You amaze me everyday, you're so smart and curious, you make me laugh and so so happy! I'm so thankful to have you here and get to watch you grow!
Motherhood is so rewarding, its not always easy but nothing worth doing ever is. This is worth it, this is so worth it.
Well, we got a picture. :)
Just had to post this one because it made me laugh!
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